Canada must lose!

As much as it pains me to say it, I believe it is imperative that the Canadian Mens' Hockey team lose in the final to the 'Great Satan' (AKA the 'USA'). Apparently, the more medals Canada wins, the greater the chance the Conservatives will finally get a majority government.

From the Canadian Press:

Almost a year ago, Conservative party strategists were already musing about the political springboard that would be offered if Prime Minister Stephen Harper could only maintain his minority government until the XXI Winter Olympics in Vancouver.

With the Games all but here, Harper has already sprung into action.

The prime minister was scheduled to be here, there and everywhere in Vancouver on Wednesday, ending the day with a flag-raising ceremony at the athletes village. On Thursday he'll jump to Victoria for the first-ever speech by a prime minister to the B.C. legislature.

And the following evening at B.C. Place Stadium, Harper will help officially open the Games at a glittering ceremony - kicking off 15 days of elite athletic competition and a two-week pas-de-deux between players and politicians of all stripes.

"Faster, Higher, Stronger" may be the Olympic watchwords for the athletes. For those who depend on the voting public for employment, it's all about what pollsters call the "euphoric bounce."

"Contentment, happiness, satisfaction is all the friend of a (political) incumbent," says Allan Gregg, chairman of polling firm Harris-Decima and a former strategist for prime minister Brian Mulroney.

"So the extent to which people believe the economy is going well, or the country is in the right direction, or that they're proud to be a Canadian - all of these ancillary, unconnected political feelings can pour over to support for the status quo."

I had forgotten how much the Olympics suck!

But now, it is all coming back to me.

Even though I don't watch TV any more (instead I libernate it from the intertubes), I am still confounded by impossible-to-avoid Olympic coverage in newspapers, elevator TV, radio bits, etc.

As Adam Radwanski points out in his Globe & Mail blog

I'll admit to being profoundly irritated by the Olympics - all Olympics - to begin with. It's never been clear to me why our sense of national worth should be affected one way or another by our performance in a bunch of sports that we wouldn't remotely care about if they hadn't all been lumped together in one big event. But if you want to make the usual comparison to Australia, as Campbell also did, then fair enough. I find the Aussies' Olympic fixation weird and tedious, but theirs is a comparable democracy that promotes athletics in a reasonably healthy way.

I always thought that the best thing about Canada was that we, collectively, feel no need to wave the flag. Typically, it is Christine 'Man Meat' Blatchford that is leading the Waving the Flag people in Peking.

Christine 'Crusty' Blatchford (as defunct mag Private Eye used to call her) definitely needs some calming down. I suspect she has been allowed to hang out in mens' dressing rooms again, and with the wealth of skin on display in the Olympic Village (unlike Base Kandahar) the possibility of someone taking a hit for the team is very small.

I must admit one Olympic-related vice. The last time I watched random Olympic coverage (and this was only sporadic since CTV had the cunning idea of showing the first season of The Sopranos at 22h00 every night against the CBC coverage) I found myself fascinated by the Womens' Distance Walking competition.

It was a relevation how sexy watching Womens' Distance Walking was, when viewed from the right perspective. Ie. from a vehicle 10m behind the main group.

Beach Volleyball has nothing compared to Ladies' Distance Walking, IMHO.

Bull in a China Shop, by GABLE in today's Globe and Mail.