2008/07/09

Pickering: ground zero

In case of nuclear disaster


Go inside and turn on your radio or television
Listen to media reports for instructions from the Province on what to do
Follow the directions provided by the Province


Instructions from the City of Toronto's "'Red Page' – Nuclear Emergency Information". (PDF 1.67 MB)

An inquiring mind might wonder what to do if, for instance, there is no electricity to power tv and/or radio.

Or if there was a pandemic resulting in a never ending onslaught of flesh-crazed 'zombies' (this scenario is imagined in 28 Days Later).

According to the Zombie Survival Guide, generated noise like tvs and radios are sure to attract wandering zombies.

I am not sure whether I would rely on the admonishments of the Red Page, regardless of whether the threat is a nuclear accident or an 'infestation'.

Go inside and wait for news? Even if you still have electricity, if you live within 10 kms of the 2 'ground zeroes' portrayed in the graphic above you are probably dead already, even if you don't know it yet.

The advice to keep indoors is probably a governmental attempt to avoid exposing people outside the Death Zone to fleeing Ajaxers and Pickerlings, slowly boiling to death from the inside as they run shrieking and cursing along Kingston Rd. towards downtown.

2 comments:

Richard Cranium said...

I would be inclined to keep a laptop charged, avoid at all costs, subsribing to a VOIP telephone service provider and use a dial up connection. From there the first place I would check for useful information is this blog or another reliable website that is not dependent on electricity to keep its information current. A municipal Toronto website, perhaps provincial?

Outside of that? Assume the head between knees position and get ready to kiss my posterior goodbye.

PALGOLAK said...

I always welcome the thoughts of fellow realists.

Bravo, richard cranium.