Heart of Bitterness

Sue Sylvester Quotes

In any good tv show, it is most often the show's antagonist that makes the show riveting.

Think Les and Herb in "WKRP", Frank Burns in "MASH", Alex P. Keaton in "Family Ties", or Archie Bunker in "All in the Family".

On the show Glee, the cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester fills this role wonderfully.

My favourite bits are her "Coach's Corner" appearances on the local TV news. Here are some examples of Sue's televisualised wit and wisdom (mostly stolen from The Life and Logic of Leigh):

Not everyone’s going to have the walnuts to take a pro- littering stance, but I will not rest until every inch of our fair state is covered in garbage. That’s why I pay taxes. It keeps garbage men working. So they can buy tacos. For their families.

*

I hear people say, "That's not how I define marriage". Well, to them I say, "Love knows no bounds." Why can't people marry dogs? I'm certainly not advocating intimacy with your pets. I, for one, think intimacy has no place in marriage. Walked in on my parents once, and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling. So, WOOF! on Prop 15, Ohio.

*

You know, caning has fallen out of fashion in the United States. But ask anyone who safely walked the immaculate sidewalks of Singapore after winning an international cheerleading competition, and they'll tell you one thing: Caning works! And I think it's about time we did a little more of it right here... yes, we cane!

*

I'm tired of hearing people complain: I'm riddled with this disease! I was in that tsunami. To them I say, shake it up a bit, get out of your box! Even if that box happens to be where you're living. I'll often yell at homeless people, "Hey! How's that homelessness working out for ya? Give not being homeless a try, huh?"