Heart of Bitterness

It's kicking off!

Word on the street (actually, in the change room of the Sheraton Hotel Fitness Club this lunchtime) is that the authorities expect disruptions from communists, deadbeats, tattoo-artists and other non-conformists in downtown Toronto starting next Monday, a full 5 days before the actual G20 Summit officially takes place.

I dismissed this as nothing more than rumour yet, when I got back to the office, I found a City email entitled "G20 - Toronto: Message from City Manager Joe Pennachetti" awaiting me.

Obviously, the City is preparing for the worst. The high points are:

You are expected to report for your scheduled hours of work as assigned during both the week leading up to the Summit and during the Summit.

• In doing so, do not take actions that would jeopardize your personal safety.
  
• Review all circumstances (such as the extent of crowding, the activities of demonstrators) in determining whether further direction from your supervisor/manager is needed.
  
• If reporting to work in Metro Hall or other work locations adjacent to the Summit venue, give yourself extra time to get into your workplace.
  
• Carry your City and personal identification at all times, as they may be required in order to gain access to your work location.
  
• It is recommended that you dress casually in the downtown core.
  
• Remember that the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees freedom of opinion, expression and peaceful assembly. However, demonstrators cannot lawfully destroy property or engage in other illegal conduct. It is highly recommended that you not engage in discussions or disagreements with demonstrators.

My favourite bit is "It is recommended that you dress casually in the downtown core".

Obviously, the City believes the protesters are adherents of the philosophy "suits versus dungarees" first espoused by Herb Tarlek, circa 1980:

HERB TARLEK:
The whole world is in revolution. And not just here, but everywhere. And you know who's at war? It's The Dungarees v. The Suits. The whole world is in two armed camps. Over here you have The Dungarees and over here The Suits.

Remember the rise in the 50s? It was The Dungarees v. The Suits. And then Watergate. Those guys arrested were wearing dungarees and who suffered for it?

LES NESSMAN:
The Suits.

HERB TARLEK:
Exactly.

LES NESSMAN:
There are issues Herb.

HERB TARLEK:
The issues, Les, are a smokescreen.

Now listen. When a son disobeys his father, what's he wearing?

LES NESSMAN:
The son? um... dungarees!

HERB TARLEK:
And what's the father got on?

LES NESSMAN:
Probably a suit!

HERB TARLEK:
You see what I mean Les? And you know what's worse? The fathers are beginning to wear dungarees too!

LES NESSMAN:
That's right!

HERB TARLEK:
So are the mothers!

LES NESSMAN:
It's just like the Body Snatchers!

Even in times of tribulation, like this, I can rely on Herb and Les to give me a laugh.

Bring it on, outside agitators and their sheep-like followers! We casually dressed City minions intend on providing the full gamut of municipal services next week, regardless of any potential danger from the forces of entropy.

Also, it should be noted that, as unionised hourly wage earners, we don't get paid if we don't show up for work.