2006/09/08



My Canada doesn't include Alberta

Well, it was a long time coming, but finally King Ralph has abdicated his throne. Come to think of it, wasn't "King Ralph" a feature film, with John Goodman in the leading role?

In celebration of Ralph's many years of stout service to the good citizens of Alberta, please entertain this proposal: that Alberta separate from Canada.

Regard this proposal objectively: isn't the rest of Canada only holding Alberta back?

Think about it from the Albertan perspective: no more GST, equilisation payments, or the need to co-label everything in french. Plus, without the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, they can make damn sure no Sikh will try wearing his turban in a Legion Hall again.

At the same time, think of the benefits to the rest of us: no more having to endure lectures on fiscal propriety from a province awash in oil revenue; a drastically lowered Canadian dollar that would stop the loss of manufacturing jobs in Ontario and Quebec; not having to hear GOD repeatedly mentioned by the Prime Minister in his speeches.

Albertans like to talk big, "We gonna separate if we can't decide fer everyone what's right 'n' wrong, y'all", but I don't think they have the huevos for it. I wish they did!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well this is just a case of the spoiled kid wanting to take his marbles and play in another sandbox. King Ralph has no fucking debt so why not....get rid of the bastard and say adieu to Quebec while we're at it! To hell with Canadian patriotism! Cheersch.

PALGOLAK said...

On the contrary! If Quebec were to separate while Alberta remained in confederation,progressivism (sp?) would be screwed. Alberta would be calling the shots!

We need Quebec more than ever to balance out those western bastards (Ontario, internally, is on a tipping point, urban progressives vs. rural conservatives).

The Commentator said...

It's an interesting dichotomy. We need both. Being from Quebec with a close friend in Alberta, there are positives and negatives in both visions. Quebec can be every bit as regressive too.

Anonymous said...

Well...there is hope for Quebec vis a vis federalism vs the EAST coast. We got a victory over Newfoundland tonight with Eva from Gatineau QUEBEC of Craig "the transexual" Sharpe from NEWFOUNDLAND. Vive le Canada!